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I am looking for a poem to tell you i love you in the most
sincere way, to console us of the end as the beginning.

something to
repeat when our resolve’s waver that this is what should be done,

when the night
gets too harsh and need becomes unforgiving.

What is regret
but looking at your lives and seeing the crossroads you cannot take.

That desire and
the heart is multiple but the self that chooses is only one.

what is
contentment but knowing the path you choose is the path you are willing to
suffer for.

i am looking
for something to assure you of the ties that bind us.

That word for
word, silence for silence, you understand me,

and that when you
need me,

i am already
there.

This poem is
sad because it wants to be yours but cannot.

to be
possessed, to be undone–

the irony of
what we crave for when our lives are whole and becoming. 

perhaps when
you own me, i will resent you for it.

perhaps when i
own you, you will resent me.

how can i cage
something so beautiful as it is free?

how can i
put  in an instant, in a metaphor, all you mean to me?

i am looking
for a way to say this better. so it doesn’t hurt.

so we
understand completely.

and in knowing,
know how to navigate the storms and swirls of our passion,

so we know
where we stand, and see ourselves in a greater plan,

to assure us
that the hand that holds the future is the hand that holds our hand. 

but it wont end
because the more i speak, the more incomplete i become,

and the graver
the hole i cant dig myself out of.

i could never
be enough for you.

but in exchange
for this grave inadequacy,  i offer you love.

may it fill you
in times you feel empty, and in times you feel you need me.

may it be all i
could never be, and may you find it in all that you see.

i am looking
for a way to say i wish you only happiness.
and all things good. 

and with that
give way to space. and silence.
               
                
                
                
                
        August 2005